And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
