That's intense
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
