That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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