Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
