I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
