I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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