Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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