winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
