maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
