I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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