That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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