I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize