ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
