It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize