i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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