Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it's great music for shaving your balls
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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