Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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