I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
