hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
