that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
