Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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