I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize