As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
