and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
