someone threw a dead crab at me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
