remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
