dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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