her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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