I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
