She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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