you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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