i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day đđ#pensacolaproblems
No he doesnât answer my texts except for like on New Yearâs Because like I was fucked up on New Yearâs and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you canât really recover from that
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who youâre talking about.
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