I'm going to jail i love you
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize