I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
