She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize