apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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