My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
