# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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