i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Welp...herpes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
