Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
