i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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