shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
