I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
