So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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