So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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