And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize