You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
