Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
