I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
