I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize