they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize