I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
