you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
