Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i used baking grease as lip gloss
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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