dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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