did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
