Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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