How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
