Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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