is your mom at the bar?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize