I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
