I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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