she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
