just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
