I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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