I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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