Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
