You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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