Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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